Two men on the lunch list

I am not a huge fan of celebrity men, but there are two fairly famous men I would love to meet someday, Bob Harper from The Biggest Loser and Ira Glass, the host of the NPR radio show and podcast, “This American Life.”

I’ll talk about Ira in a later post. Let’s focus on Bob today. What is it about this man that is so attractive? Yes, he is physically attractive, but lots of men are. With Bob, I know he would connect to and love the chunky adolescent girl in me. I think we all carry around a well worn mental picture of ourselves from some point in our childhood. I do. In my photo, I am ten years old, refusing to wear a much needed bra, and willing to do anything to escape my developing body.
Bob would totally get this girl. He’d gently get to know her, pinpoint what makes her laugh, understand what she worries about, and help her focus in on the strengths that she can’t see yet. He would tell her that she is beautiful and miraculously, she’d believe it, because a guy like Bob wouldn’t lie to you. Then, only after he had taken the time to do all of the above, he would find out just when the weight issue began.

My history with weight goes way back to second grade when the school nurse wheeled the scale into the front of the room and announced our weight aloud as each student stepped on and off the scale with a thud. At eight years old I weighed 75 pounds. I didn’t feel heavy at the time, but my cheeks flushed hot with embarrassment, when I realized that my number branded me as the heaviest girl in the class. Only one or two boys surpassed my numbers on the scale. Similar annual weigh- ins continued through junior high, where at twelve years old, I weighed more than I do today.
As a tribute to my parents, up until that day in second grade, I didn’t regard myself as overweight or even view myself in terms bodily terms. I loved to take care of my dolls, played on a softball team, bravely jumped my bike off ramps, and arrested my neighbors during cops and robbers games. I was an athlete, mom in training, dare-devil and enforcer of the law. According to different studies, around the ages of eight to ten, girls start to understand and notice the cultural messages about women and their bodies. If you are thin, have light skin and long blond hair, then you are beautiful. Somehow as a femaIe, you are expected to make beauty an important priority.

What I love about Bob is that he wants his clients to lose weight for bigger reasons than reducing the size of their pants. He strives to help people heal those wounds from the past. For me, my weight turned into a difficult wound for me to heal. I struggled for years, feeling horrible about myself. My parents, in different ways, loved me through it. My Dad encouraged me in my sporting endeavors and celebrated even the most minor accomplishment with unbridled enthusiasm. He taught me how fun being involved in sports could be, that I could be noticed for a good play in the outfield and appreciated for my athletic skills.
As the teasing continued, my mom often put her arms around me and rocked me. On the day the boys followed me around the playground mooing at me and calling me a cow, it took a long time to cry it out. Never, ever did she mention the word diet, or suggest that losing weight would make things better. That was one of the greatest gifts my mother gave to me. As tears rolled down my face incident after incident, my mom patiently listened to the stories, acknowledged my pain and then proceeded to tell me how smart and creative I was, what a caring young girl I was, and that my weight was not “me”. Eventually, I believed her, and it is no surprise that the weight then slipped away.

Many trainers focus so much on calories and six pack abs. When really, I think most people just want to feel good in their own bodies and heal whatever is bothering them in the process. Bob seems to do that. It’s like he takes that worn photo and frames it. And when he gives it back to you he says, “You know, this kid is gorgeous. Put that picture where everyone can see it.” And you believe him. You hang it up in your entryway and your perspective changes.



That Bob, he’s part trainer, part counselor and part eye candy, not a bad combination! Yep, I’m a fan for sure. Now Ira, well that’s a different story…