I never thought I would_______ but I did.--Prompt taken from The One Minute Writer
I never thought I would be happily married, but I am. I know that sounds cynical. But I never grew up daydreaming about a wedding or being a bride. Marriage didn’t particularly appeal to me. I thought I would be single until I was about forty or so, and then maybe get married. I just didn’t believe that any man would be mature enough. I swear those were my exact thoughts. I was such an old lady college girl! I had spent too much of my college career witnessing guys who only seemed concerned about where the next fraternity party would be. My hope was to find someone who was more passionate about life and how they chose to live it, than the amount of beers they slammed at Nick’s last night.
I never thought I would be really able to swim, but I can and I enjoy it. I think if I spent more time swimming I would be really good at it too. This fact brings me so much pleasure considering I cried more than once in the workout center parking lot after a session of sucking water. My body wanted to sink. Panic swept over me if someone swam too close and threw my concentration off. I felt like I would never be comfortable swimming freestyle. Now, I feel calm and beautiful in the water, much like a whale, but in a good way.
I never thought I would live just a few blocks away from my parents, but I do, and feel grateful for it. I never thought I’d want to stay in Indiana, but I really find that I like it here.
I never thought I would NOT want to be a full time stay at home mom, but I don’t. I realized years ago that it doesn’t work for me. I had to find a new balance for myself. This meant redefining what being a good mom means to me.
I never thought I would be writing or wanting to write like I do, but I do. I didn’t meet my New Year’s resolutions this year with that. Part of me wants to use this space to berate myself for that, but a bigger part would like to give myself a gentle pass. I feel a little disappointed, but I am working pretty hard in other areas of my life. I know that I cannot do it all, all the time. I am focusing on my master’s degree right now. I still try to write each day, it is just more journaling than anything I would submit anywhere. I figure I have my whole life for literary greatness.
